Not What I Thought

Author | Steve

BEING

To be completely honest, deep down in the unspoken recesses of my soul, by now I had thought we would be doing something amazing and earth-shattering on this “Trust Adventure” to which Jesus so clearly called us. But here we are, almost five months into this, and that is by no means the case. However…and this is a gigantic “HOWEVER!”…the Spirit of Jesus has been doing something beyond what eyes see, something heart-shattering and mind-bending – to us.

Last night, the last thing I read before heading off to sleep was Tullian Tchividjian’s announcement about his infidelity to his wife. At first I was shocked, and then I wasn’t. Not because I know anything about Tullian, but because Jesus has been taking me on a journey deeper and deeper into the recesses of my soul to show me just how broken I am and just how much I need Him and His saving grace. This Trust Adventure is not about doing something amazing, but about being – being broken and being mended, being killed and being resurrected, being emptied and being filled.

BROKEN PEDESTALS

Just before I read Tchividjian’s announcement, I read about Jordan Spieth’s improbable win at the U.S. Open. I was rooting for him, being a Texas boy and all. But as I read the stream of accolades and predictions flowing out of Twitter, I was reminded of a phrase my wife says all the time, “Man was not made to be put on a pedestal.” And quite simply, that has been my journey on this trust adventure so far. It’s taken nearly five months for Jesus to show me the myriad of ways I was knowingly and unknowingly putting myself on a pedestal, or at least desiring it.

ENOUGH

Now, I’m learning to long for Jesus doing amazing things inside of me and letting that be enough. He will do with me as He pleases and use me for His good purposes. I don’t have to strive to make myself important or to do gigantic things to prove my worth. I can rest in His promises and in my identity as He sees me. This is a daily battle – a war for my allegiance, and Jesus is leading the way.

THE NARROW ROAD

“The narrow road calls us outside ourselves, to follow the Trailblazer.” It was so fitting that these were the words I heard my last Sunday in Michigan, before heading out on the next leg of this adventure.  The wide road leads to destruction, but the narrow road leads to life. The NARROW ROAD is the one I’ll travel on, because He is the way and the truth and the life. Jesus has wrecked my world, and I’m increasingly joyful because of it! It’s not a road of endless self-performance, but a road of sabbath grace, twists and turns that require faith, trembling…and amazing views!

THE SAME BUT DIFFERENT

So, five months into this, it feels a little like deja vu – packing up to head out into the unknown. But this time is different. Jesus has given me new eyes and He continues to shape my heart to love the things He loves more than the things I love. It’s a struggle, but one I’m learning to trust…and even enjoy.


PRAYER REQUEST

Please keep us in your prayers as we head out on the next leg of our journey. Austin flies to my Mom & Dad’s in Roanoke, TX this Wednesday. Me and the Littles (JJ & Ellie) start pulling the trailer on Sunday morning to head back to Roanoke too. Jamie and Gabby fly to Uganda on Sunday for a week-long mission trip in which they will lead some Bible studies on spiritual warfare for about sixteen women. When I arrive in Roanoke, I will drop off the Littles, and Austin and I will head to southern New Mexico for a nine-day men’s bootcamp in the mountains. The biggest request we have is that our Father would open us up to whatever He wants to do in us and through us during these days. Secondary prayer requests are for safe travel, the guarding of our hearts and minds as we say tearful goodbyes to good friends, and the protection of Jesus’ shed blood as we continue to battle the darkness of the enemy in our own lives and the lives of those to whom He allows us to minister as citizens of the kingdom of light! Thanks…drop your nets and follow Him!


Read our most recent blog post | “Some Things We Learned in Michigan”

Some other posts by Steve | “God Against My Plans,” “Worth It,” “Dominoes,” “Freedom”

Our Story | “The Beginning of Our Story” & “Lightening the Load”

 

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One thought on “Not What I Thought

  1. Pingback: St. Luke Lutheran Church – Not What I Thought

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