Author | Jamie

We are all walking wounded. The enemy who attacks us has no honor. He attacks when we are vulnerable little children, planting lies he uses throughout our lives. It takes very little to trigger our insecurities and defense mechanisms we have used to mask our pain for years. The enemy is so crafty we often don’t even recognize how hard we are working to protect ourselves. The burden becomes heavier, though, and we keep winding up hurt – disappointed, discouraged, and alone. The festering old wounds threaten to poison our entire body.

But let all who take refuge in you be glad;let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. ~ Psalm 5:11

The enemy did a fabulous job of convincing me I was all alone and no one would protect me. The staff at Westwood Ministries, where we spent the last week, was invaluable in guiding me through a process of looking into these falsehoods with my Father. I’m not going to lie – it was hard work, and painful. My best defense against this pain has been to numb myself to feeling and to get angry when that defense is threatened. Laying these weapons down felt dangerous and difficult. If I’m carrying weapons, isn’t it because I need them? How can I lay aside weapons I didn’t even realize I was carrying?

As I left myself vulnerable and open to attack, my heavenly Father helped me to discover that I never really had to fight for myself (as crazy as that sounds). He was with me in my wounding and was sheltering me in ways that I could not even see. His truth began to shine brighter than the enemy’s lies. My heart felt lighter and God’s love for me deeper than I had known before.

My Father is inviting me to lay down my anger and learn to walk in a new way. I’ll tell you, it feels a little awkward. I’m taking very cautious baby steps as I watch to see what will happen. I want to rejoice, and His Word says that joy can be found in the refuge of His protection.

Here’s a song that captures a little of what I’ve experienced: “Never Once” by Matt Redman